A vigil for Nex

Earlier this week, I spoke at a candlelight vigil for Nex Benedict in Austin. I was honored to be a part of the organizing team, and everyone had such dedication and energy in creating a beautiful event to honor Nex. The speakers' words were healing and cathartic for me.

Here's what I shared:

I'm Mandy Giles, my pronouns are she/her, and I'm the founder of the social impact business Parents of Trans Youth. I'm also the parent of 2 nonbinary young adults, so Nex’s death hits close to home. Because I love my babies with all my heart and will fight for them until my last breath.

I know many parents of trans and nonbinary youth are hurting right now. You're terrified for your children. You’re heartbroken. You’re angry. For some parents, this was a very real wake-up call about the bullying, harassment, and violence that transgender people face every day. And sometimes it’s hard to envision a future story for our kids.

But then I see a gathering like tonight, and all of your beautiful faces. I see your power, your visibility, your very real love for each other. The love in the trans community gives me hope for my kids’ future. Because I know that when I’m not there to protect them, their chosen family will be.

And the youth give me so much hope for the future. Nex knew who they were, and they stood up for themselves in the face of small-minded bigoted bullies. And that’s remarkable. I hope that’s part of their legacy. Standing in their truth and fighting back.

But the trans community should not have to bear the entire weight of standing and fighting back. Allies - white, cis allies - need to take some of that burden off the shoulders of transgender, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming people.

Allies need to take ACTION.

Allies need to step out of their comfort zone to listen and learn and do better.

Allies need to be present and visible and loud to speak out against the harm, the legislation, the directive, and the policies targeting the trans community.

Allies need to stand in the gap between the trans community and those who are attacking them.

Parents, loved ones, allies of transgender people - turn that heartbreak and anger into educating others, showing up, and speaking up when we’re called to do so.

So Nex, sweet baby, rest in power, and rest in peace.