Are you prepared?
Preparedness, Roy Lichtenstein, 1968
What a rush! I just represented PFLAG Houston at a virtual employee event for a corporation here in town; this was my third in a week. Like the other two programs, the panel included parents of LGBTQ children who told our stories and answered questions.
I am energized and full of hope. I shared the gender and sexuality journeys of both Indigo and Mars from my perspective (only they can tell their stories) and answered questions with honesty, vulnerability, conviction, and humor. I’m deeply grateful that my experience can help support and educate others.
I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking about whom I can serve by telling my story and sharing lessons I’ve learned. Many parents of LGBTQ children are looking for support and community. Hearing threads of your own story validates your experience and can give you hope. Raising LGBTQ kids—particularly transgender kids—comes with its own set of unique issues, and sometimes it’s comforting to hear from someone who’s been there.
And then there's the rest of the world. Everyone needs to know how to be a supportive ally to LGBTQ youth, whether you’re a parent of one or not. The Trevor Project estimates that approximately 1 in 10 American youth ages 13-17 identifies as LGBTQ. So chances are just about 100% that your child, your child’s friends, or your friends’ children are LGBTQ whether you know it or not.
What if we approached being a loving ally like we approached the sex talk? You know your kid will ask where babies come from at some point. It’s good to have a general idea of what you’ll say so you don’t fumble for words (too much) or panic and go off in an unhelpful direction. You might read articles or talk to friends or listen to experts. You might reflect on your own values. You prepare.
So what if we also prepared for our kids to come out as LGBTQ? What if we educated ourselves and listened to other parents’ experiences and examined our own biases? What if we created a loving and embracing environment by inviting LGBTQ friends into our homes and watched TV and movies showing positive LGBTQ representation with our kids and discussed the significance of LGBTQ issues in the news? What if we constantly told our kids that we love them unconditionally?
Our kids came out to us a combined 6 times, so I was ready for the most recent revelation. I was prepared. Thank you for telling me and trusting me with this information. I’m happy for you, and I love you unconditionally. Let me know how I can support you.
Love and support.
Are you prepared?