Stand in the gap
I’ve had a hard time processing Lauri Carleton’s murder.
Lauri Carleton was a retail shop owner in Lake Arrowhead, CA, and a staunch ally of the LGBTQ+ community. She was shot and killed last week by a man who first made several hateful remarks about a rainbow flag outside her store.
Back in June, the Human Rights Campaign declared a national state of emergency for LGBTQ+ Americans. HRC President Kelley Robinson stated, “LGBTQ+ Americans are living in a state of emergency. The multiplying threats facing millions in our community are not just perceived – they are real, tangible, and dangerous.”
And now apparently for their allies as well.
True and visible allyship is necessary. LGBTQ+ signage, flags, bumper stickers, and shirts can have very real significance and impact, especially outside larger cities.
For many queer folks, it’s not an option to put out a Pride flag or wear pronoun pins, especially in smaller towns or conservative communities. There can be a tangible cost to being visible, especially joyful visibility. O'Shae Sibley was killed in late July for voguing at a Brooklyn gas station.
It’s safer for me. I’m a white cisgender straight woman. I use my privilege to be a visible advocate. I’ve got a “Don’t Mess with Trans Kids” bumper sticker on my car and a Pride flag outside my house.
Will someone damage my car because of my sticker? Maybe. Will someone tear down our flag or worse? Maybe. Am I scared sometimes? You betcha.
Because that’s what allyship is. It’s standing in the gap between agitators and our LGBTQ+ friends, loved ones, and people we haven’t even met yet. If attacking my car, my house, or even my person means that I’m preventing an attack on a trans person, I could make my peace with that.
Photo by Farnoosh Abdollahi on Unsplash
This horrible event emphasizes the consequences of anti-LGBTQ rhetoric and how hatred, entitlement, and white supremacy can bleed into action. And I can’t help but notice the mainstream national media attention for this particular act of violence against a white ally. I hope that the media gives the same attention and respect to any future victims in the LGBTQ+ community, especially people of color, especially trans women of color.
This event also emphasizes the importance of the ongoing work for allies to be loud, visible, and active in the fight for LGBTQ+ equality and against hatred, discrimination, and violence.
Think anti-LGBTQ+ language, policies, and laws don’t affect you? Think again.
It’s not affecting just the queer community.
It’s coming for all of us. It’s coming for you.
What will you do?